Archive for August, 2010


Now in my 4th Year

   Posted by: Bitches Bruze    in Promise

I’ve been thinking about time a fair bit lately. I read an article about some neurosurgeons going out in the wilderness without their iPhones and someone made a comment about how time isn’t important out there. Actually, time is the only thing that’s important in the wilderness, but not that human constructed thing of seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, and months. Time plays a big role in the strategy of derby too. I keep those articles for the team(s) I coach.

On a light-hearted note, at some point in time this month I had my 3rd derby-versary which means I’m now working on my 4th year. In terms of many things, that’s not very long at all. High school and college are longer. Let’s not even think about relationships (good and bad), children, home ownership, cars, etc. But in the derby world, a LOT has changed. For example:

You know you’ve been playing derby for more than 3 years if:

  • You’ve propagated a derby meme on MySpace
  • You miss the ability to use only your derby name in your online profile (also MySpace)
  • You remember a 2 skater box cap including the jammer
  • The first derby movie you saw was a documentary
  • It only took a week or two to get your name on the Master Roster
  • You don’t own any t-shirts that don’t have your derby name and number on them
  • You own at least one “special teams” scrimmage shirt (ECE, home themed bout, etc.)
  • You own several pairs of skates corresponding with your skating ability growth
  • You have derby correspondance with skaters in other countries
  • YouTube has at least one video of you skating
  • you’ve played three 20 minute periods and thought it was challenging
  • you have a small list of people you know who “used to play derby”
  • your friends have given up on trying to get you to do anything non-derby and now plan to come to your bouts
  • you remember rule books that were closer to 10 pages long
  • you stopped buying other teams t-shirts because, unless you can put your name and number on it, you have too many league t-shirts
  • most of your tshirt collection is black, white and red
  • you’re a master with iron ons and fabric paint
  • you know someone who’s had a derby divorce (or been divorced/widowed your self)
  • it’s taken a while, but you’ve finally settled on the pad odor treatment that works best for you – and it works (mostly)
  • you’ve been in no fewer than 3 derby photo shoots
  • you can have an intelligent conversation about the comprative strategic efforts of no fewer than 6 WFTDA leagues
  • someone has told you “dangle derby” is a disrespectful term
  • you’ve written comments on DNN
  • your dressing habits in the real world have been affected/influenced by derby
  • you’ve completely lost track of injury and bruise counts
  • you’ve signed someone else’s body parts for the sake of derby (fans or bruises)
  • you know that sharpies are required gear bag equiment
  • you have a separate make up bag for derby (this applies to guys too)
  • your helmets have gone through several renditions
  • you’ve at least once considered changing your derby name then thought better of it
  • people have slowed down on sending you every derby link and newsletter article they’ve seen
  • you no longer collect bout programs for the bouts you’ve been to/in
  • goofy faces are just as “normal” as smiles in planned photos
  • attire (such as leggings) which you would not have been caught dead in, much less in public in about 5 years ago now make good sense
  • you own an array of wheels for an array of possible skating surfaces and you’re opinionated about them
  • you’ve skated in at least one parade
  • at some point you’ve played roller derby in an area that is normally parking
  • you’ve had to learn to call old derby friends by the names given to them by their mommas
  • when you see a man in gold leggings or a lace skirt, you no longer automatically think he’s in drag or assume he’s queer
  • when making vacation or travel plans you’ve visited at least one league for a practice far away from home